My mum made me drink a whole bowl of bittergourd soup during dinnertime. Yucks, the bitter taste still lingers in my mouth.

And I saw something that made me agitated. And I feel even more bitter now. Like hello, some things you don't have to let the whole world know..especially me. Someone just successfully made me feel stupid again. Alright, I know it's not anybody's fault..it's just me yah. I think too much, I put in too much effort, I was the dumb one..fine.

To think I did so much to get this in return. Nope..actually I didn't do alot..but I did a little more. And to me that meant a lot more. Then? Someone comes by and gives me a hard slap to wake me up from reality. That "hello..do all you like. It doesn't affect me that kind of thing. Cos I'm too occupied with other stuff and too occupied with my own thoughts to bother about yours".

That's what I interpreted. Or probably to be kinder, it didn't mean that badly. It was just a "Oh I feel apologetic about you doing so much but I didn't know! And yes..right from the start I thought you knew! So why now so big reaction?"

And I thought I knew too! Just why did I have to go react so violently towards one sentence. I'm like going around in circles here, fuming...some people out there are oblivious to it..they're sleeping and enjoying life!

Moral of the story: It's no use putting too much effort in doing something. Just give like 51% of your attention and pretend to care a little. Then let all the others go..yah..let them go live their own lives. Don't try to be nosey and worry about their lives. Who knows they're better off than you.

I thought many people have told me this before. But I still can't practise it: Why go bother about people? You have your own worries to settle right? Why go make other people's problem your problem, why go worry and think about them?! So far two people have told me this. And I seriously think I should heed their advice now.

How would I know. It was just subconsciously I... Right. Stop going round in circles and bother about your own life first. Ni dui ren hao, ni gei ren lang xin ta dang gou fei.

And the worst thing is they don't know how I'm feeling this.

I didn't mean to make this entry sound so lousy..but..I kind of got affected by what just happened. So sorry peeps.

I shall walk around the house till my anger is appeased. Not going to blog till exams are over. I shall not care about unnecessary stuff. Let people lead their own lives. Stupid me.